100 Hours of Humo(u)r – Hour 26: Flash Humor Writing Contest #2

“In the News” — With Guest Judge Ross Reynolds of KUOW Public Radio in Seattle

By Dave Fox

100hours-logo2Welcome to hour 26 of the 100 Hours of Humo(u)r! It is now 11 p.m. here in Singapore; 2 a.m. in Sydney, Australia, and 4 a.m. in New Zealand. In Oslo, it’s 4 p.m. In North America, it’s 10 a.m. in Toronto and 7 a.m. in Vancouver. Wherever you are, it’s time for our second of four flash humor writing contests — and as I announced many hours ago, this one has a tighter deadline than the first.

If you missed the first one, flash humor is like flash fiction: brief, to the point, and excellent for readers with short attention spans. Your mission in each of these contests: To write a humor essay with a maximum of 500 words, on a topic to be announced at the start of the contest.

Your story must be original, written by you and you alone during the contest period. You may not submit stories you have written previously. (This is on the honor system, but if I find your story online elsewhere, I’ll know you cheated. And on a more serious note, if I find your story online elsewhere with someone else’s name on it, I will publicly humiliate you. I am not kind to plagiarists.)

Again, this is the start of 26. For this contest, all entries within the next three hours — at the end of hour 28, before the hour 29 post goes online.

ross_reynoldsOur guest judge this time around is Ross Reynolds. Ross hosts The Conversation, a current affairs call-in show that airs weekdays at noon on Seattle’s National Public Radio affiliate, KUOW. Along those lines, our topic for this round is “In the News.” It’s been a quirky week. You’ll find plenty of material if you quit squandering time on so-called “humo(u)r” websites for a couple of hours and do something meaningful for a change. :-)~

One bit of guidance (which I’m asking Ross to consider when judging):  please keep in mind this website gets visitors from all over. Make sure someone on the other side of the planet will understand what you’re writing about. (No… I don’t mean you have to write in Swahili. What I’m saying is, early risers in Seattle, the average New Zealander will not understand obscure Alaskan Way Viaduct jokes, so don’t try to woo Ross with your neighborhood politics.) I’ll be sending him the entries with names removed to be absolutely certain there’s no bias.

The winner will receive:

  • Your choice of any two of my books in any format available. (“Globejotting” (the book) is now available in Nook and Apple iReader formats as well as Kindle and paperback.)
  • A written critique of your writing — maximum 1,000 words — or a 45 minute writing or humor coaching session by phone, Skype, or in person if we are ever in the same place.

To enter, e-mail your entries to before the end of hour 28 of the 100 Hours of Humo(u)r. By submitting a story for this contest, you verify that it is your original work, and that nobody else holds the copyright to it. In addition, you grant permission to publish the story on this website. (You retain all copyrights and are free to publish it elsewhere as soon as the “100 Hours of Humo(u)r” online festival has ended.)

Good luck!

Humor writing online courses

Published on Saturday, March 2, 2013

One Response to “100 Hours of Humo(u)r – Hour 26: Flash Humor Writing Contest #2”

  1. March 3, 2013 at 3:04 AM

    Too late. Oh well.

    How to Select a Pope.

    As an expert on religion, I’m often asked questions about the papal vacancy.
    Q. Who are you going to vote for as the next pope?
    A. I don’t have a say in the see. But I’m bullish on Alfredo Tortellini because he’s a household name.

    Q. Who gets to vote?
    A. A flock of cardinals meet in Capistrano where they are locked up in the Sistine Chapel until they elect a new pope.

    Q. How long does it take?
    A. Not very long. The Sistine Chapel doesn’t have a boy’s room.

    Q. How do we know when the election is over?
    A. After the cardinals vote, they burn their ballots in the fireplace. If the smoke leaving the chimney is white, a new pope has been elected. If the smoke is black, the papal chimneysweep is given his two weeks notice.

    Q. Why does a recently-elected pope choose a new name?
    A. Pope Alfredo Tortellini doesn’t roll off the lips as well as Pope John Paul George.

    Q. Why does a new pope wear a little round white cap?
    A. It’s called a “zucchetto,” an Italian word meaning “beanie.”

    Q. What do you think the new pope’s official action will be?
    A. Excommunicate people who use the word “beanie.”

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