By Dave Fox
Seattle, Washington

I’m feeling sad today.

Seattle’s Convention and Visitor’s Bureau has just come up with a new slogan for the city: “metronatural.”

MetronaturalI am feeling sad because according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the Visitor’s bureau spent an entire year and $200,000 to “invent” this new word. I wish they would have called me first. I could have come up with something equally idiotic in half the time, and I only would have charged them a quarter the amount.

I have this image in my mind of the meeting at which the final decision was made: A bunch of self-important marketers in khaki pants and name brand shirts patting each other on the back, thinking we, the innocent taxpayers of Seattle, would actually like such a slogan.

“It sounds kind of like ‘metrosexual,'” one self-important marketer would announce smugly to the other self-important marketers, with the same pride one would expect from a two-year-old who has just picked his nose and run to show mommy his new-found treasure.

But wait! It gets better! Now that they’ve blown 200 K on the dumbest new word to hit the dictionary since… since… I think since the invention of the English language… now they are going to spend another $300,000 on an ad campaign to market the word.

Half a million dollars?!?! For “metronatural?!?!” I want my tax money back!

Instead of blowing all that cash on “metronatural,” how about spending half a million dollars on this slogan instead:

“Seattle: Come be a tourist in our city, but don’t move here if you have kids because our public school system doesn’t have enough money to keep all of its schools open.”

Published on Saturday, October 21, 2006

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