“Occupy” Protests Spread to Singapore Suburb

The “Occupy” movement spread to Singapore’s Bishan neighborhood today, when approximately one person holed up for more than five hours in what organizers called an “Occupy Dave Fox’s Apartment” protest.

Occupy bishan“Hell no! We won’t go!” chanted the protester, who would only identify himself as “Dave.” Asked if he was aware he was shouting an archaic protest slogan from the Vietnam War era, the severely balding man replied, “Oh… no. I was not aware of that. I actually wouldn’t mind a trip to Saigon right about now.”

The protester then changed his chant to “You kids get off my lawn!”

After sprawling on the floor for several minutes in his boxer shorts and blocking the door to his office, he got up and marched to his refrigerator, where he spent 12 seconds chugging a can of Raffles Beer.

“We’re protesting that thing about that thing!” the man shrieked at reporters when asked the purpose of his demonstration. “You know? Like, it’s all fucked up, man!  Next thing you know, they’ll be taking away our right to do stuff!”

The protester eventually dispersed after his wife called to tell him if he didn’t get back to work, she would come home and tear-gas him.

Published on Tuesday, November 22, 2011

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